The coaching we offer is based on 4 pillars, made visible in the following image (click image to enlarge):
According to us these are values that play a crucial role in every relationship. We are convinced that when there are problems in relationships / systems, these are important issues.
When you come and visit us we are new for each other. We focus on you in the context of your complete family-system or, when you come alone, the direct groups/systems you are connected to.
Patterns (for example between family-members) will already appear in the first meeting we have. Gaining insight in these patterns is the start of a process of change.
We believe that when a family starts working together, for example because there is a psychical task, it becomes clear where and in what way trust is present within the family and how members are inter-connected. What do you trust another with? Do you have confidence in yourself and the other? What way are you interconnected; do you not only hear but understand each other? How do you listen to one another and can you listen to yourself? Connection is especially felt when you feel acknowledged in a relationship. You feel seen and accepted. Through acknowledgement you can feel that you (have the right to) excist. But it can be hard to give and receive acknowledgement, especially when you learned that you should be or act in a certain way in order to be accepted. You have to deserve, ‘quid-pro-quo’, you do not get anything for nothing.
This principle can make you lose the connection with yourself and make you forget you are valuable just because you are unique. That is why unconditionality is the foundation in our practice and the point of departure in the coaching we offer. It is the source for trust, connection and acknowledgement.
Abovementioned values play a role on both individual level as between people. Depending on the setting in which you are here (alone, as a couple or a family) the focus, in activities and converations, will be more on individual level or relationships.
In the reality of daily life this means hard work and exercise. Actively working on these issues can confront you with your own pain-points and evoke emotions. Vakantietherapie may be the first opportunity to really work through this, together, because this time it’s time to work intensively and practically to bring out the best in yourself and others.
Vakantietherapie is time to yourself the one moment, and program the next. We assume most people have clear ideas about what Vacation is. We think a good definition of Therapy is: ‘method intended to relieve or heal’.
Developing our method, we are inspired by Aware Parenting, solution focused therapy and emotion focused therapy (EFT), among others.
This results in us working system-, emotion- and solution focused.
We love a practical approach and value working together, both as a means and a goal. That is why we work together on projects with people that come here. There are all kinds of small or bigger jobs to do on the farm where we live. Besides, we can also help out with Proyecto ESTÁ, an organisation that commits to offer special living-space for children with autism (and their families). They are within walking-distance from us.
By rolling up our sleeves and work together you’ll find that a collective goals and focus arises. It can feel very good when joint efforts result in something good or beautiful. Moreover, working together is very useful to our coaching because it is about communication, letting go, dependence and much more.
Throughout the programme we will be talking to each one of you about things we notice and want to share with you and about things concerning family life that you bring in.
Before you arrive we will help you define a goal for Vakantietherapie. On the one hand this goal should be realistic, so that Vakantietherapie can produce what you are hoping for. On the other hand you may be ambitious about what you want and where Vakantietherapie can contribute to, be explicit about your dreams and wishes.
We also work with assignments. That means we could ask you to do a game, cook together or take a time out as partners to do something special for eachother. To do something with one of your children or for example think of some significant gift.
We want to be engaged in a way that is probably unlike you are accustomed to. This means we reduce the ‘professional distance’. We would like to share a part of our own family-life with you. We want to be open and personal with you, because we know we can learn from eachother and eachothers strengths and weaknesses.